Dari jauh, KL nampak tenang

Dated : 23/2/2008

kami di situ,
malam itu,
berdiri memandang ke depan..
dan dia bilang,
perlahan,
dari jauh, KL nampak tenang,
dan di tangan,
ada kuaci,
yang dia kopek...
dari jauh, KL nampak tenang....

Terima kasih,
untuk kuaci,
untuk tenang,
dan untuk sebuah senyuman.

Picture courtesy of aDeE13

The Meaning of Loyalty Part 2 a.k.a Februari Datang Lagi?? Lompat lagikah aku?

Hari itu di Sheraton, tanggal V-day yang tak seperti selalunya.

Dia 1 : Puan M, kereta saya kosong. Muat untuk tumpangkan dia. (Aku tersenyum)
Dia 2 : Nak ke mana?
Dia 1 : Minggu depan kami punya temuduga, mencari calon seperti dia, untuk mengisi kekosongan di sana.
Dia 2 : Maksudnya?
Dia 1 : Kalau dia setuju dan Puan M setuju, kereta saya sedia untuk membawanya pulang. (Aku senyum lagi di situ)
Dia 2 : Ohh.... dia sedang menuntut, punya dua tahun lagi untuk dilangsaikan. (Kali ini aku senyum dan tunduk, panahan matanya sampai ke kalbu)

Yang dulu juga begitu. Senyum lagi aku. Sayang juga dia padaku. Terima kasih untuk Dia 1, Tuan GM, pelawaanmu sungguh memikat dan berharga, apakan daya.. lewat datang bertamu.. lagi dua tahun boleh tak?

Kerahsiaan.

Dia : Bulan ini ada 35 hari.
Aku : Mengapa?
Dia : Data kita "ditendang balik"
Aku : Kenapa?
Dia : Salah masuk.
Aku : Mana kau tahu?
Dia : Dia di belakang yang bilang. Rahsia-rahsia.
Aku : Kenapa dia tahu?
Dia : Abang di bawah bagi tahu.
Aku : Bagaimana pula abang di bawah tahu?
Dia : Yang ditendang datanya bagi tahu. Buka rahsia dalam "atas riba" masa temujanji di Titiwangsa.
Aku : Bukankah dia sakit? Kakinya menopang.
Dia : Mana aku tahu.
Aku : Seharusnya mereka tidak tahu, bahkan kita juga patut tidak tahu. (Cinta itu macam ubat tahan sakit, kaki yang dioperasi serasa kebas bila bertemu cinta)

Bicara cinta itu kadang-kadang sakit dan kadang-kadang bahagia. Pada sesetengah banyak yang sakit dari bahagia, dan pada yang lain banyak yang bahagia dari sakit. Apapun bicaranya, kerahsiaan di bendung pada lingkungan manusia yang berdua ini. Konon-konon tiada rahsia antara kita.

Tapi, ada sesetengah benda yang perlu juga menjadi rahsia. Seperti rahsia orang lain yang ada pada kita. Contoh paling mudah, dan paling dekat, dia pemegang amanah syarikat, yang punya data tentang titik jerih orang lain, yang punya maklumat tentang sen dan ringgit yang bakal diterima. Harus, keterbukaan jugakah disitu? Berkongsi rahsia dengan seorang lagi yang bekerja bawah bumbung yang sama atas nama cinta, meninjau-ninjau kerahsiaan dalam "atas riba" tentang sen dan ringgit orang lain yang berteduh pada bumbung yang sama. Lalu, yang itu pula disampaikan pada sahabat merangkap cinta kedua yang kemudian berbisik pada yang lain dengan kod rahsia-rahsia. Mungkin keterbukaan itu terhenti menjadi rahsia-rahsia kembali pada satu titik, tapi jika rahsia-rahsia itu jatuh melimpah pada sungai yang mengalir, maka rahsia-rahsia akan terapung timbul tenggelam sampai ke hilir.

Lalu batas bagai mana harus menjadi jarak antara kerahsiaan dan keterbukaan? Pada amanah yang dibilang kerahsiaan harusnya kalau ingin diterbukakan juga, janganlah sampai terlihat setiap data, cukuplah dengan berkata, aku punya masalah pada data kita. CUKUP! Kerana kerahsiaan itu punya namaku, dan aku tak pernah dan tidak akan pernah menghalalkan rahsia itu diterbukakan. Sekian.

Farewell for the Mourning

I was late this morning. Then, for that was rushing to get ready for work. It was officially a week of mourning. The mourning for a nonsense may I say. Or shouldn't I? Heh....

I have never celebrated V-day, but there is something so significant about the date that has thrown me into a deep mourning for these seven days. The date that on it latest occurrence suddenly made me a real dump and left me in the deep sorrow.

When I received the judgment for the crime I never committed past few weeks, there are no tears at all, and thus no regret on it for the reason that I believed God knows the very best for me. He had his plan, and the plan come with package and the package was not yet fully unfolded. I'm content with that, truly and honestly! "Berserah itu bukan jalan terakhir, tapi tawakal itu lebih kepada mentaati ketentuanNya" are those words that was banging my ears when I was strucked with the news.

For other sorrows that I have commit and for the long period of being loyal to a relationship or for the period that I stared at the closed door so long, it was all okay. Okay...... ??

But suddenly on the night of V-day, when the sudden struck of the memory of routines flashed in my heads and was banged with the heart-breaking judgment, I was lost into tears and being consoled by my very own self. It hurts so much, and for that I nearly forget that for all things happen there are reasons behind. Thus, for those reasons are the reasons we feel happy or sad.

I was left into a restless thinking till the mourning forced me to take medication for sleep, to the lost of appetite that also lead to series of vomitous and for that I have to dig for activities that may keep me busy. What a fool, or may I say fool to the fullest? Is it a sin for a person to be sorry of herself, and to keep starring at the closed door for a moment? If it is a sin, then I am officially ready for a sentence.

So, today.... I'm planning to be happy. I'm planning to bid farewell to the mourning. Let it gone with the wind. Okay... so, malam nih what for dinner yeah?? Nak balik masaklaaaaaaa... Huahuahua...... Jangan sedih-sedih pulak korang baca bende neh, sebab aku dah happy....... Cheers!!!!

For that, I left you all with this wonderful story. No Left Turn. And I would like to quote something from it.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.

Untuk Pertama Kali....

Hari ini,
Untuk pertama kali,
Ada tangis di tubir mata,

Hari ini,
Untuk yang pertama kali,
Ada sedih yang kunjung tiba.

Tiba-tiba,
Melankoli datang menyapa,
Pada tawa yang kubujuk tiba,
Pada ceria yang kukarang rasa.

Hari itu telah berlalu..
Lalu sedihkah datang bertamu?
Atau gembira yang aku ketemu?

Sepertinya,
Tidak pernah ada luka yang lebih dalam,
Tidak pernah ada sedih mendatang,
Lalu penantian bertahun itu,
Seolah tiada rasa,
Bila yang ini menjelma,
Memberi kesan pada semua.

Maka hari ini,
Untuk yang pertama kali,
Mutiara itu aku kesat,
Melahir perit dari hati.

Tuhan,
Beri aku kekuatan,
Untuk berjalan terus kedepan,
Sungguh aku redha pada ketentuan,
Jangan tinggal daku seorang......

Sudah berlalu...

Sedihkah aku?
Gembirakah aku?
Hari itu sudah berlalu.....

Again... Walking without brain.

There's a bunch of people doing what they called as artistic works in our premise. They came with lots of equipments from big lamps into lots of cameras. I don't really care about them, since its working time, and they have nothing to do with me. That's for sure!!!

I was sitting in my room, doing my works, when suddenly someone enter the room, my own room without knocking and go out just like that. Then, I have to be the one that welcoming him by asking...Excuse me, may I help you? And he gave me a glimpse and just went off.

I'm pissed off. Yes, I am.... totally pissed off. I never remember in any of my lifetime that I become so rude and not giving a helping hand. At times, I will try to help but at certain agreed condition. But, how would I help if he at the first place becomes so unmannered!!!! Hello... we are human species, and at least give me some respect in my own room... This is not Iraq and you're not Bush.... !!!!!!

So, those responsible personnel rushed into the room seeking apologies but for sure because they need my room. I wonder if they're not.... After what these artistic people said few apologies, I then went out of the room doing something by telling them, well, they have their ten minutes in my room. (Now, I wonder why Malaysia dijajah)

So, after ten minutes I came back seeing their thing still in my room. I went straight to my table, sit down and continue my work. Then, a nice gentleman came in. Without saying anything and even knocking he collected his things. Hmm..... If you were at my place, what will you all do???

Then, he went to my back, unplugging the things right behind me and pulling the wire under my own kaki.. helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, my kaki la dol!!!! Don't I have any right to become angry..???? Thus I said to him, don't you all know how to use words??

Then he gently told me, I said it, too bad you can't hear it. If you ever come into my room, then you will wonder how soft he said his words until I can't hear them??? Don't tell me a s**t la!!!! My room is so damn aman sentosa without any bising that I at any chance can't hear your stupid a**hole voice!!! (Now, anyone who always said I'm too good, I'm a human being, I have my own bad side!!!)

He told in front of my face, in my very own room, in my premise, with my title on the door, apa awak fikir saya tak sekolahker? Did I say any words like that?? I only said, he doesn’t have any manner, that’s all... I think he is too artistic that he thinks everything in this world is too abstract and related to each other in any ways that I an ordinary girl could not understand. Now I also become puyeng reading my sentences.

Thus he makes me wonder, if this is the way he is behaving, any school won't make him any better. Seriously!!! Now I wonder, do I have to make any incident report???

Please lah, behave yourself, so that people will respect you, and this give me another credit to just ignore their artistic work. No wonder, their works are not appreciated. Wanna know their work title?? Hahahah... But, still.. kudos to those with big heart, and dare to dream big, and still behaving like a human species. Can't wait to be home and watch CUCI with all my friends. I think this fella need some cuci exercise.. Clorox anyone???

--------**-----------

Note: This was written when I was totally boiled, excuse me for those unmannered words. I've put up some twinkle-twinkle little stars there.. :) cheers!!. 5/2/08-8.25am

A friend of mine give her piece of mind here.

The Meaning of Loyalty Part 1

I was asked in an interview of me "testing the market" to define loyalty. I answer the interviewer by saying, I'm loyal to myself, I determined to give the very best to myself and what makes me happy comes number first. If I'm not happy due to the work environment, or due to my gaji or to the benefits, there's no reason for me to stay. If I'm not happy, I can't be productive and my present is useless. So, let’s talk about this loyalty and how time flies adding new candle on the anniversary cakes of my career.

I'm going to celebrate my second year of loyalty this February. I've never been so loyal to a company until I reached the point of staying tough with them by completing two years of journey together and now entering my third year of struggles. I first step in this setting in February 2006. In fact it is a new setting, new building, new staffs, all are brand new "bau kedai" things. And due to that, with also new pay scale, I don't hesitate to leave the previous job in Seremban. So, there I was, stepping my foot in the setting and ready to report my duty at 8.00am in the morning while the office is only opened at 9.00am. GOSHHHH!!!!!

The one year struggle was full with everything, joy, strength, sad, sorrow, but we grow together, standing side by side as a very big family and that was the utter most reason why I love being here regardless of few other things including funny stories of our "beloved" boss and our so called "perasan boss" also. Hehehehehe... tak kisahlah acik... janji acik happy!!!

Next time, kiter citer pasal dua orang "bosses" nih yer? Many things happen, and at times we felt so helpless. Changing of management, few inter-office political issues, and being bought over put all of us in nightmare. We can't stop ourselves talking about leaving the company. So many staffs turnover, and if staffs could felt the fear, how come we can't feel the tear?

But time still flies. A year past and I've completed my one year of loyalty with them. But at the same time, was also thinking of leaving for other offers. Changing of management come in with few rumors of here and that, and to the most fear factor is, our big boss also leaving by the reason of "I don't feel comfortable with this management" God!

But it was also my legacy, changing my workplace every year, hunting for better offer, better pay and better medical benefits. Everything was fine. Things went smoothly and I decided to again change my company and due to that was thinking to move to PJ and left our renting house in Pandan Jaya. But, something happen. Sometimes, God gives us answers by whispering to our heart. The boss gave me one week leave to rethink about my decision and I was confident with my decision to leave until the day I have to report my duty at the new company. But that morning, only God knows how difficult the day is. I can't even drive my car. I stopped at a 7-11, rethinking of my decision. Then, I make a phone call.

Me : Puan, can I join you all back, my heart keep on saying, I belong to our company.
She : Huh, really?? Come.. come.... only God knows how happy I am!!! Do come back.. do come back.

It was a relief. I rang my mom, and she said, she got no problem with it. The boss at the other side was totally pissed off. And I heard some of my batch was simply being scolded just because they are my batch for the reason they don't commit. To that, I felt that God have shown me the right path. I couldn't help myself to take that decision. But I think that was God's plan.

But, bear in mind, my friends here still keep on teasing me off about the issue.. you know... until today!!! Hampeh btoi!!!! Heheheh.. thanks for being with me guys!!!

So, what are the lessons from this part,

Lesson 1 : Be loyal to yourself, if you are happy, everything will make you happy also
Lesson 2 : Don't care about people who don't care about you. Put yourself first, and prioritize who's and who's to be taken seriously.
Lesson 3 : Find good friends like mine!! Well, this is not simple, at least if you can't find one do opt for mandi bunga.
Lesson 5 : Make sure you know the nearest 7-11, stop and rethink of your decision.. eheheheh
Lesson 4 : Make sure you're fully equipped with thick face, thick ears, and dozens of alasan melepaskan diri when being teased!! Cehhh!!!!

Cinta Sangkuriang Rindu Oedipus

Judul : Cinta Sangkuriang Rindu Oedipus
Pengarang : Nisah Haji Haron
Penerbit : Ujanailmu Enterprise
Genre : Kumpulan Cerpen
Mukasurat : 243 halaman
Cetakan Pertama : 2006
ISBN : 9834326203

Pada mulanya, rasa seperti malas untuk mengulas buku-buku seperti yang dilakukan oleh Bapak JiwaRasa. Cukup sekadar membaca seperti selalu-selalunya aku lakukan. Tapi, untuk hari ini yang lambat berlalu dengan satu beban maha berat di dada, rasanya tak salah berkongsi garapan kumpulan ceritera ini. Ini buku pertama tulisan Nisah Haji Haron yang aku baca. Dan untuk meraikan kemasukan namanya ke dalam senarai penulis-penulis buku di rakku, ini juga komen pertama tentang buku. Rupanya gerangan penulis ini sudah lama aktif, dan kebanyakan novel ini dekat dengan dunia profesionalismenya yang berlatar belakangkan undang-undang. Untuk setiap cerpen yang termuat, ada ulasan bagaimana Nisah Haji Haron mendapat idea, proses untuk menghasilkan cerpen tersebut termuat pada nota kaki.

Buku ini dibeli secara online dalam pakej Sasterawan yang termuat 3 karya daripada penulis besar, iaitu;

1. Kekasih Sam Po Bo - Faisal Tehrani
2. Cinta Sangkuriang Rindu Oedipus - Nisah Haji Haron
3. Rindu Ibu (Edisi Santai) - SN A. Samad Said

Bersama dengan itu, aku tambah lagi Sangeetha dari Azizi Haji Abdullah. Teman-teman bising mengomel buku-buku yang aku beli, terlalu berat dan memeningkan... Errr... aku yang beli, suka hati akulah!! eheheheheh.... Tapi kalau nak pinjam, bila-bila masa sahaja dialu-alukan, janji dipulangkan... Nashkah yang baik dengan ilmu yang menggunung sia-sia kalau terbiar di atas rak tanpa dikongsi.

Jadinya, yang ini sudah usai dibaca.

Ini aku copy dari UjanaIlmu.

Jauh ke hujung antologinya ~ Cinta Sangkuriang Rindu Oedipus ~ cerpen-cerpen Nisah Haron mencapai puncak ranumnya. Dalam bahasa yang semakin santai dan manis, kisah-kisahnya menjadi lebih menduga dan lebih mencabar. Maksudnya kita tidak mungkin menikmati karyanya begitu saja tanpa terlebih dulu berbekal ragam ilmu dan kesabaran.

Cerpen demi cerpen Nisah Haron, secara sedar atau alpa, tetap menghantar teka-teki atau teka-kata kepada pembacanya.

Tapak demi tapak, dalam ragu dan debar, kita terpaksa belajar menyusuri dan menekuni manusia-manusia pintar yang diselaminya.

- A. Samad Said -

Kandungan

Kata Pengantar oleh Sasterawan Negara A. Samad Said
Selingkar Kata daripada Pengarang

1. Cinta Sangkuriang Rindu Oedipus
2. Selagi Lading Masing Di Tangan
3. Persidangan Agung Wanita Klasik
4. Afidavit Emosi
5. Ziarah Izrail
6. Konspirasi
7. Kasih Di Pintu Rahim
8. Presiden Rebecca
9. Rindu Seorang Rafik
10. Impian Tsu-Ryi 2
11. Fata Morgana Akhir Musim Yuda
12. Saksi Delima Sakti
13. Pusaka Cendana
14. Citra Mukhlisah
15. Resepi Dari Istana

Aku belajar sesuatu yang baru dari Cinta Sangkuriang Rindu Oedipus. Aku belajar mengenal siapa mereka, mencari-cari latar belakang mereka yang sebenar bagaimana cinta melankoli antara Sangkuriang dan Dayang Sumbi dan Oedipus dan Jocasta. Banyak versi yang aku baca, tapi tepu dengan fokus yang sama, cinta terlarang mereka. Aku gemar juga dengan Presiden Rebecca bagaimana seorang presiden berjiwa besar yang terpaksa akur dengan sebuah kekejaman. Akhirnya Resepi Dari Istana, aku belajar untuk lebih percaya bahawa apa sahaja yang ditentukan Maha Esa, pasti ada hikmah disebaliknya. Cuma kita, insan biasa tidak faham dan mengerti apa yang terencana untuk kita.

Pinta Tuhan itu mudah,
Pada Redha Ibu Bapa itulah RedhaNya,
Tapi jalannya susah,
Menuntut kesabaran segenap jiwa.